Self-Destructing/Southern Charm - Book Reviews

My reading list this month is long. In addition to the book I started 3 years ago and still have yet to finish, I had a twist on Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde as well as a Slavery perspective based on relatives in the author's life. Where to start? Well the quick read of book 1 in the Mr. Self-Destruct series, of course.

If you haven't gotten your hands on this book yet, it's for sale through the humorous writer himself, Mr. Joshua Peck. Basically a few years ago after joining an online writer's group I found myself laughing everyday when I'd spy a comment by this young man. In addition he was a self-publishing author and prolific with his work. I couldn't compete so I've sat back and just enjoyed his antics and body of work when I can afford it. Finally a week or two ago he asked little ol' me to give a book review on his work. I've read other stories, but to actually help out such an accomplished gentleman? Challenge accepted!

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde is a story by Robert Louis Stevenson. If you remember from an earlier post I have a special tie to Mr. Stevenson's work. My step-father had the same name and at such a young age as five years old I thought I was about to move in with one of my favorite authors. I bragged at school about how cool my mother was to be marrying Treasure Island guy. The school librarian corrected me, but that didn't stop me from being a long time fan.

Jekyll and Hyde is twist on Beauty & the Beast and now you know how ingrained this tale is and near and dear to my heart. Mr. Self-Destruct starts off by deconstructing the mind of a socialpath with enough open flaws to be thrown away in mental health system for life. It took me on a roller coaster ride through the mindset that is often scary and deals with some dark and tortured subject matter for a single character. It's an original take and successful tackle of this fave story of mine so please stop by and enjoy today.

I'm also finally getting into Seeds of Magnolia by Bill Miller. This subject matter although very important history of people of color, specifically the black community, I find it hard to tackle not only for myself but in general. It spans an ugly time in American history. One that America is unwilling to apologize for today. It seems that especially the government would rather forget that slavery built America and that a lot of people got caught up in this practice without a way out and without knowing what true freedom means. Does slavery still exist today? Yes and that's a bigger problem than just ignoring and playing ignorant to what was happening in this country 200 to 150 years ago.

So how do I move on from slavery? I vote and I practice a religion that speaks to me on a spiritual level. I discuss my own issues from being a victim of sexual assault by writing characters who deal with the same thing. I hope that my writing speaks to other people and helps them with their day. Bill Miller's story is a good one but that mental minefield was already cracked wide open with me and this just adds another layer to consider, how my ancestors were treated back in their day. I'm a third of the way through and it's promise to be an enticing story that hooks a reader is there. I'm just weird about the subject matter so please don't let my progress stop you from grabbing up this amazing story.

Marketing/Networking In Modern Times: Golfing vs. Gaming?

I consider myself a child of the letter ‘M’ not the ‘X-Y’ Generation because of MacGyver & MTV. In other words, sorta a Millennial just a bit older. Plus as my PIC likes to tell people, I’m a Liar, er, excellent Creative Editor of some of the details of my life. Note to my younger readers, Richard Dean Anderson ran around for an hour each week on my TV set saving the world by using his intelligence, Mr. Wizard’s World-style science tricks and a lone Swiss Army knife to get him out of sticky life/death situations between 1985-1992. Not to be confused with RDA’s role on the TV series Stargate: SG-1. The forementioned character’s name? Secret Agent Angus MacGyver.

He was a pretty to look at leather wearing badass and wicked smart. He got the girl, lost the girl, got a new girl, basic 80’s TV drama 101. I think the show MythBusters got its start disproving awesome MacGyver Universe Scientific Explanations. Week after week the handy pocketknife was the only thing that stood between the hero and certain death. Today’s equivalent is Scorpion which airs on CBS. CBS is considering a MacGyver reboot too.

I did a blogpost years ago about my formula for fiction. As a writer, I find it’s a multi-layered hidden code that I try to break. Some genres work like vampire fiction, romance, sci-fi, etc. I have to figure out what I want to write about, but I also need to know why I’m writing certain themes over and over again. I’ve been writing since I was 7 years old. What you may not know about me is that is also the age I stopped being molested. Accidently I discovered my talent for the written word by picking a path to deal with painful events in my life. I survived them and turned those experiences into what I believe is something positive.

I do enjoy telling people I meet in person, “I write porn!” I’ve mentioned before this is a marketing tool. I like to push the envelope from time to time, throw an average person off their game. I want to be remembered. Now that I finally have taken that scary step of purchasing business cards, I can use them instead of my one-liner. For me it really depends on the person and my mood, but it usually leaves a random individual laughing. So I’ve decided to continue to drop the line.

These days you have to have a battle plan, a course of action to get remembered. If you have goals of selling your body, er, uh body of work, yeah that’s it, to other people get your hustle on. It is part luck, right place, right time, right person to help you achieve the next level in your climb to fame and money. In my case, current high priority goal? New York Times Best Selling Author. My day to day troubles are I’m trying to make it to tomorrow.

As far as I can tell, most people prefer to accept cold hard cash in exchange for things like a roof over my head, food, hot water, etc. As the saying goes, “In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash”. In other words, some days I have to be a responsible adult. Dammit! Adulting sucks, but it’s the way the world works for me so far. I also pray on my desires, push my intentions out to the universe and hope for the best outcome. Or, I thank Goddess I’m an Atheist and keep it moving forward. You know me my loyal 8 followers, I love to cover all bets. Speaking of gambling, just so ya know, as a babygirl who loves her mocha/caramel skin tone, I always bet on Black to win.

I mean yeah, I could bitch and moan about being a member of the born a Black Woman Club. Hey, I didn't pick it! That was on my parents and my mom's choice to have me as a parasite on her body for 9 long months. My bio-dad had other ideas as to how my mom became pregnant, apparently he missed Sex Ed that day when he attended school. I heard a rumor from my favorite Auntie that a bed was broken the night of my creation. She was quite pissed about it because it was in her guest room at the time.

My ethnic ancestry has shown throughout history people of color, especially the ladies haven’t always been treated the best by other human beings. Or I can use these documented injustices to fuel my creative passions. I count myself lucky to not have experienced rape and I can relate to men/women who have been a victim of that crime. So I write about it.

Personally, I narrowly escaped that same fate at 7 years old right before I learned to fight back against my abusers. I had no choice but to stop the sexual violence in my life. I chose to believe the rumor that most pedophiles don’t survive long in the prison system. I’ve recently changed my thinkin’ on this topic which I will address in my next blog post, working title. You Drank What? How I Found My Sexual Power! Through my writing I’m a champion of my causes. I tackle the abuses of black women first, but I hope that my words apply and help victims in general.

Personally, I try to take full responsibility for my actions, even when caught doing something authority figures deem bad, naughty, wrong. Oh my, a spanking? “Yes, please and thank you! May I have another?” my inner drunken babygirl answers a little too loudly. Fortunately/unfortunately for me this is the only way I know to be the best me I can be.

Other than Putt-Putt Golf I have no interest in golfing. I played the www.pogo.com version for awhile but mostly I find that game boring as all get out. Yes I think Tiger Woods is nice to look at, but unfortunately for him my bio dad thought Tiger was an ideal life mate for me. That means he has never been on my ‘Celebrities 2 Fuck’ list. If that wasn’t enough, Tiger’s reported treatment of his romantic partners sent him to the ‘No Chance Ever’ list with a quickness.

I drive a Ford truck for its symbolism to me. 'Fix Or Repair Daily' is sometimes suggested as an acronym for these car makers, for me, I prefer the slogan 'Built Ford Tough'. That’s the thing about good marketing. It’s why I continue to be a proud Ford Truck owner. Dante 2 and I have been rolling around the US for over 10 years now. For about 8 months he was the only home I owned. Dante the sequel has proven himself dependable except for the need to replace the battery from time to time. He pimps The Devil’s Panties with 2 bumper sticks, “Being silly keeps me sane!” and “Time is like a zombie. It moves slow, but all of a sudden 'Boo! Got your brains!'”

If you live in the Portland, OR area you may have seen Jennie’s car. It is covered in fun quote bumper sticks and has a beautiful octopus trying to eat it. She’s a valuable resource in my life on the how-to self-pimpin’/market your artwork. I check her out daily as a matter of ritual and have even purchased her work. Though a perk of our friendship is I used to get free swag all the time. Her heterosexual life mate, er husband, Obby did the modern day version of networking to job search. Instead of heading to a golf course, he’s a gamer.

Traditionally business/professional men and thanks to the Suffrage Movement of the 1920s women head to a golf course to discuss business. It allows for privacy and they use 18 holes to decide the fate of a company, patient, client, even criminal. This is what I refer to as 'White Male Thinkin'' process of how-to conduct business deals or the Baby Boomer Generation way. It’s old school, setting up people of privilege to succeed through antiquated abuse of power practices. In other words for the longest time over here in the grand ol' US, Caucasians stacked the deck in their favor turning the other 98% of US citizens into virtual slaves. I thank Goddess this is becoming obsolete in modern society. Ease of access to a PC, tablet, or smart phone means the average or even poor individuals in my country can break the glass ceiling and skyrocket to super stardom. Even lil old, er, I mean, young at heart me.

Today everyone has an opportunity to have their voices heard. The only problem, how do you make your one little voice heard among 7 billion others? Wake up to the world and necessity of social marketing. It gives me way more opportunities to get my message out there in the world.

So here’s me, marketing, er, uh, pimpin’ like a gangsta my product, building my platform, sharing my experiences and making my voice count among the myriad of other voices in this world. I’m hoping you love what I have to say, that my message resonates with you. I want what I have to say to help someone, somewhere with their day.

If you don’t like my message, I ain’t mad at ya. Please let me know if you’re brave enough to challenge me. And I’d rather you not hide behind an Anonymous button when you do. Okay? Cuz you my friend could end up blog fodder or even the basis for one of my fictional characters. BTW I dare ya to try to prove I’m talking about your dumb, I mean, er uninformed ass. At current, I’d gain a story to tell, but as my butt remains poor, bring it on!

Confuse Connie Continuation Considerations...

The writer/Muse inside me is always willing to explore the dark, twisted, and shall I say demon side. What can I say, I consider this my day/night job currently. Through my writing this occasionally manifests in weird, sometimes embarrassing ways. It is my intention that something I write whether it's a story or blog post will help someone else. Enter the second part to Confused Connie or as it was originally titled, Confused Connie Again (CCA). 

I sat down to edit and repost this story. It was the game plan set forth in my last post and boom, it's a (mind)field. I stopped reading, closed it and decided to process my reaction instead. So today I decided to prepare my Muse for demon psyche battle. I made a cup of coffee, started writing, stopped, played a game on my phone, took a shower and started my day again with a new cup of coffee and my go-to reading for inspiration.

As I mentioned in my last post incest is a taboo topic that I chose to tackle. I posted Confused Connie to Literotica back when I first wrote it. At the time I had some real world issues I was working through with my alcoholic father along with a few other life depressors like unemployment. I hadn’t written Forced to Change. Back in 2010 I’d never thought about publishers let alone known any might one day be interested in my work. So as I mentioned earlier I pulled the story down when I saw an opportunity to transition my art, er, uh writing to mainstream. A chance to finally beat down the unemployment factor that was still playing a vicious role in my life and decision making? Yeah! Woo Hoo! Three months ago my publishers and I parted ways. Oh nuts, here we go again. 

As I said, about a month ago I started rereading CCA and I stopped. I have some weird feelings about the writing today, mostly it is not who I am as a writer, storyteller, or even person now. So I can’t decide if I should or more importantly can repost the follow up piece. When I compare and contrast who I am today versus who I was four years ago there are huge differences. I attacked different subject matter, processing my then current issues. This is the challenge of an artist’s Muse. Mine, silly one that she is, freely admits she is dark, twisted, and an undercover sadist in comparison to my being a full blown masochist.

My hesitations are about the fact that I am forcing myself to revisit some old wounds in my life. The masochist in me prefers pain spiked with pleasure and this is more pain than anything else. To work on this story I must face wounds which I have closed and healed. For the most part I enjoy writing and never know where it will take me. It is one of my main goals for my life to use my work to do some self-work as well. 

I use my writing as personal therapy. That inner work on self is usually reflected in my newer projects. Unfortunately my decision to repost my incest pieces has made me acutely aware of these old scars. So the challenge I’ve inadvertently set forth for myself is to take a long hard look at an old battlefield with new eyes.

Add to this problem, I stumbled onto Literotica at a time in my life when my target audience changed. I sought out (Dirty Old Men) DOMs to view my work instead of my trusted friends and family members. Strangers instead of people who know me well. Now that I’m working on the finishing touches to FTC my circle of peeps know how to find my work too. Also the realist in me has hopes of publishing and marketing FTC to yet another type of audience. So I have to ask myself the question 'is this something I really want to explore and expose about myself as a writer'. The situation with my now ex-publishers suggests it is not a good way to go.

This line of thinking may or may not be a good idea as it pertains to marketing to a mass market with the hopes of mass appeal too. I promised myself to be more honest with myself about six months ago. If I really want the advantage of being more truthful with myself, the knowledge I’ve gained from processing my demons and baggage for the sake of my writing I do need to finish what I’ve started. It isn’t always easy to go over painful events from my past, but processing and writing them down is self-work that I recognize as a major improvement to my own creative. I was inspired to this course of action as I mentioned in the following post.

Okay, so since I’m set with my intentions by this blog post. I’ll let you, my dear readers know how it goes by the end of the month. I’m going to pray on it and hope it is the benefit I believe it can be to my writing. If not, comfort food and TV marathons are in my future, while I process the need for another plan of attack for my inner demons, er, I mean my writing.

A Homicidal Maniac Who Rapes Dead Babies Might Live Next Door To You

I know one lives across the street from me. How do I know? A successful author of horror writing lives across the street from me. As far as I know when she feels homicidal she writes. It’s one of the few things I know about my neighbor I’ve never met. She’s published and she earns her living with her work. I rarely see her, though I’ve seen her husband weekly take their garbage cans down to the curb. I respect her privacy and can only divine things about her that she puts out into the world, IE, I’ve read her work.

I find that most authors of the horror genre are homicidal maniacs. The only difference  I see between a horror writer and a serial killer is one lets their thoughts play out on the page while the other takes their thoughts out into the world and plays them out in real flesh. As I watched the news earlier today of the school shooting in Oregon, it was painfully clear to me the shooter did not know this difference. Or maybe they did and didn't mind the consequences of their actions. I prefer not to pay those kind of consequences for my actions. My thoughts and prayers are with all those affected by this person’s choice of action.

I guess that’s the dividing line between most writers and those in prison or loose on the streets acting out their thoughts in the real world to me. I do what I consider illegal all the time. One of the main character’s in my book, Forced to Change is an assassin. Jared gets paid, very well in fact, to go around the world killing people I don’t like. He really enjoys his job. Especially when his targets are homicidal sadistic rapists. That’s his version of Christmas wrapped up in an assignment. He won’t even take money to kill them, he does it for free.

Personally, I’m a big fan of freedom. Being locked away in prison would be a suffocating experience for me. I avoid it by walking the line of man’s laws and staying on the side that keeps my black ass out of jail. As of today I’m legally allowed to smoke weed. I can light up a joint in the state of Oregon and smoke that sucker down to a roach. I won’t say whether or not I did so before it was legal because I believe my joy over this new law explains that perfectly. For the sake of keeping my beautiful black booty out of jail, I only wrote about puff, puff, passing the chronic prior to today.

Death of The Starving Writer/Birth of The Satisfied StoryTeller...

Maybe you noticed or maybe not that I’ve changed my label from Starving Writer to Satisfied StoryTeller. At around 200 lbs. I’ve never actually starved for my art. Almost, there was a time I was forced onto a Ramen Noodle diet due to my budget. Though, I ate everyday even when life was suckage and the only roof over my head was that of my truck, Dante 2.

So why would I consider myself Starving at a time in my life I wasn’t starving for food? Well, I was starved for something else. Inspiration, motivation, love, Goddess. I was cut off from the bounty that is the Divine Design in my life. I was unsure of my every step. Failing at the highest level for what I thought was how my life should work. I was suffering from depression and an inability to see how much better my life could be if I, the Sleeping Beauty of my life could just wake up.

Recently, I fully woke up. I’ve done so every once and a while over the years, but today I can say I’m completely awake, finally. I’m Satisfied with my life. I’m satisfied with the person I am today. I know what I want to do for a living, writing full-time, and how to accomplish that goal. I have a roof over my head and food in my fridge.

I’m happy, content. I have goals and I’m working toward them. I have everything I need and more than I could possibly want. So the time to change my title has come. I’m no longer starving, I am Satisfied. So if you see the ‘starving writer’ label somewhere connected to me, let me know. Thanks my loyal 8 followers. Much appreciated.

Simone

PS. New Literotica story up...Goddess, Simone & YOU

NaNoWriMo: The Scariest Time Of Year For Writers

October found me discussing my writing process as a whole in preparation for NaNo. What’s so hard about a writing contest that challenges you to write 50,000 words in a month? That’s only 1,667 words a day. No big deal. Yeah, right. It’s a nightmare, especially if you suffer from writer’s block, lack of time, your Muse keeps escaping her chains and dungeon, etc. It’s why all of my posts last month were about my writing process. It was my hope to encourage other writers, that way I don’t have to go through this big scary contest alone.

So, I’m doing NaNo this year. Yeah me. Yes, there you have it, all written down and everything. Some of you may or may not have noticed I didn’t actually say whether I’ve done NaNo before. So I’m telling you right now, right this minute, nope, I’ve never done it. I’m a NaNo virgin who desperately wants to pop her NaNo cherry, er, uh, you know what I mean. I think somewhere in the back of my mind I was attempting to psych myself up for actually participating with my posts last month.

After much debate on which novel to work on I’ve decided to kill two birds with one stone. I’ve promised to finish the Rising From The Fire story for years. Although I didn’t start this piece for the contest, I know that what’s published has been begging for a rewrite anyway. I’ve brainstormed RFTF and have all the sex scenes plotted out. The characters are developed, but the lion’s share of the writing has yet to be done. To stay fair and in the spirit of the NaNo contest I won’t count any chapters that were pre-written and will only use the parts that make up the rest of the story as part of my 50,000 word count.

Granted, I could have started a new project, something specifically for Literotica or made the follow-up novel to Forced to Change my goal. However, I’ve been promising more Rising From the Fire for years. I love the story and it has been bouncing around in my head forever. It has simmered long enough that it should be soup already. I just need to commit and get ‘er done and NaNo provides the perfect excuse to do so.

Also because I’ve never done NaNo before, I want to give myself the best chance of completing this task so as not to discourage myself going forward. Funny story, but there’s another contest that takes place over Labor Day weekend, the 72-Hour Novel Writing Contest. Being the dullest knife in the drawer on a regular basis, I tried that one instead many years ago. I didn’t actually enter it, cuz there’s a fee to participate in the actual contest and I’m frugal, but I tried one Labor Day weekend to write an entire novel. That would be my first novel, the dreaded horror show of writing, which I finished a few months later.

So y’all get to join me as I brave the NaNo contest for the first time. All signed up and everything. I’m not scared one bit (biting fingernails). There are plenty of projects that I’ll be working on this month to and including moving across the country. Bottom-line, to win the contest all I need to do is complete a 50,000 word manuscript and upload my word count to the site before midnight on November 30, 2013. No big deal, right? Especially with the amount of other things I have going on right now. Rigggght. I can already say, I probably won’t win this year. But at least I’ll try and you never know. We’ll see what happens…

Update: Oct. 3rd, 2016
So last year I tried to get the bulk of Changed by Time done. No luck, my inner demons pulled me off task so hard I'm still stuck with barely an outline started. I'm considering working on it this year. I keep trying to try to beat the writer's block I'm having with this one piece. So wish me luck and I'll let you know with a brand new post after the contest this year if I'm in a position to do so. I hope to get FTC out this month at the latest in December. This year is all I promised myself but yes I'd like to get the lion's share of CBT done first. The Changed Series has me putting on the breaks right now, so I'm hoping by putting my intention out there I'll have some luck with my inner writer...

The Hard-On In Writing: Rewriting & Editing

Okay, to recap this month’s posts: To detail or not: kill your darlings, it’s not lying if you call it fiction, and it’s okay to write crap. Basically I’m coming back around to kill your darlings, rewriting and editing. Wow! It feels a little full circle, but that’s the process with writing unless you’re perfect. I’m not perfect. I’ll probably make several mistakes today, but that’s okay because I’m human. I don’t mean to make so many mistakes, but I’d rather make mistakes than have regrets. I intend to leave this world without a single regret, and hopefully surrounded by a rainbow of men and…*blush*...er, um, way off topic, back to editing and rewriting.

I’m currently reading The Alphabet versus The Goddess: The Conflict Between Word and Image. I’m only sixty or so pages into it, and I have no idea what I’ll take away from this book as a whole. So far it has me thinking about the fact that I don’t even question my own literacy, though I can remember back to when I couldn’t read. When subtitles in a film would frustrate me or even a pictureless book seemed daunting and overwhelming. If not for Mrs. G, my favorite librarian, I wouldn’t have risen to the challenge of reading and writing.

I started writing stories around the time I learned to read. Although The Alphabet Versus The Goddess inspired some of my favorite songs on Ani Difranco’s latest CD, Which Side Are You On? and she’s my favorite writer’s block unlock tool, I really don’t know. As Once Upon A Time likes to remind viewers in almost every single episode, there’s a price to pay for using magic. Not to jump off on a philosophical tangent but if literacy is a magic power that I have, what is the price I pay for being able to use it? Editing?

In my head, every piece I write is a movie playing out. Most of the time the visual lands on the page. When I edit, if it’s not there already, I plop down the details. It is my hope that the reader sees the picture I envisioned on each and every page. Or at the very least they get a vivid picture that will keep them reading. The parts that end up being crap, I might rework, delete, or edit. I never know until I’m re-reading, rewriting what will stay and what will end up lost to the dreaded delete button. I enjoy editing videos and stuff, but when it comes to self-editing my writing, I’m lousy at it. I’m much too close to the story to see what I wrote.

It’s a rough draft though. It’s the garden that needs tending. Sure there’s plenty of fertilizer and dirt in the mix, but underneath it all there is a story. A character drowning in bad writing. An emotional scene that makes the story worth reading. One dimensional characters that come to life. No matter what level my writing is at, I always need other people to read what I wrote tell me where I’m unclear, what’s not working. Dare I say, an outside editor or beta reader?

This is not to say that we as writers don’t need to do our own editing and rewriting. Before I could start submitting my work to a professional editor, I had to clean it up, flush out the story, rev up the scenes, and capture the details. Grammar and punctuation rules come into play here. I'm still not perfect at them, but I generally take care of the glaring mistakes that make a reader cringe.

So what happens if it still really, really, really sucks? If it doesn't look like editing will help at all? Well, rewriting the entire thing may be in order. With Forced to Change I ended up writing the bulk of the story in first person narrative, then switched it to third person narrative, and then ended up back in first person narrative. I know insane, right? Granted it was after I was already under contract with the third person draft when I went back through and set it to first person. The only thing I can say about this amount of work was, wow. Even as much work as it ended up being, I knew my characters, scenes, plots, theme, and settings backward and forward. I was so much happier with the latest draft once that was done. That accidental insane amount of labor will be a tool I use again one day.

Anyway, so that’s my writing journey for the most part. Write crap. Detail for no other reason than to detail. Kill your darlings. Above all else, write. When anyone asks me the trick to being a writer my answer is always, WRITE...You’ll pick up the rest along the way, but if you don’t start somewhere even if it’s something as simple as typing the following line over and over again, ‘just write...’ you’ll never have anything to edit or rewrite. So write it down or type it up or speak it into a recording device and get it out there. The tricks and tools come eventually.

Writing Down The Boners!

In Natalie Goldberg’s book, Writing Down The Bones:Freeing The Writer Within she points out human beings are the only species on Earth with this magical power, literacy, reading and writing. I read the book years ago and have since lost my copy. I mean to replace it one day, so I’ll do a bit a paraphrasing for this post. The one thing that stood out in the book to me, the thing I needed to read most was that it’s okay to write crap. Giving myself permission to write badly is the most valuable tool I ever put in my writing tool box.

Why? Writer’s block...You could be the most talented writer in the world, a true perfectionist at the craft of writing and if you are congratulations, I’m so happy for you. Writing is probably as easy for you as breathing. Not me though. As I mentioned in an earlier post I started out as a ‘edit as you go’ writer. I had to make the switch to a ‘write by the seat of my pants’ writer after reading that book.

I had these great ideas for stories and I would write anywhere for 2,000 to 10,000 words on a particular piece and I’d stop. Either I couldn’t get back into the flow of it or I had no idea how to move the story forward to get to the end. I wrote myself into a corner constantly or the story just got really boring. Cringe worthy material graced the pages and I couldn’t write another word. Before Writing Down The Bones I let myself be defeated by writer’s block. I considered writing a hobby and continued to pursue jobs that took me far away from the goal of writing for a living.

I needed to know how to finish the story. I was desperate to figure that out. Even when I copied another author’s style, storyline I still couldn’t make the magic happen for me. I discovered a formula to most of the books I read and while studying the craft of writing I picked up on a few things like plot, theme, setting, and story world. I stumbled onto Randy Ingermanson’s newsletter which spoke of this formula that I could see in other writers and still had yet to figure out for my work.

Unemployment found me attacking the craft of writing a story like a puzzle that needed figuring out. It could be put together if only I could find the key to the map of writing fiction. I turned to reading authors and genres I enjoyed and I tried to get my characters to do the same, finish telling the story.

Overall my biggest issue turned out to be writer’s block. When I read Writing Down The Bones it was like finding a key to my map with writing. That key was it is okay to write shit, crap, junk. Bad writing is allowed. That was the most freeing thing I could hear about writing. I immediately changed my goal. Instead of telling a great story and worrying that every detail was perfect, I wrote total and complete garbage. The only thing that mattered was I was writing, my new goal.

I’d finish the scene and get past it onto the next. Impossible unrealistic crap could and did happen to my characters. Scene changes that made no sense sprinkled their way across my words. A real world setting would switch to the future and take place on another planet in an entirely different universe. All of sudden in a modern urban tale there would be a 15th century warrior. Fairies and elves would run rampant or a minor character abruptly took center stage. I was writing. Something was happening on the page or nothing was happening on the page and that was okay. Nothing happening was the basis of one of my favorite television shows, Seinfeld. That show elevated the power of ‘nothing’ to a new level.

My grammar and punctuation were awful. There weren’t even darlings that needed killing. It was mundane dribble, but hey, I was writing and finishing stories. As I’ve said, I hate, loathe my first novel with a passion. I got that first novel length story under my belt about two months after I read that it was okay to write terrible stuff.

I was so proud of myself for finishing. Yeah, Woo Hoo! I proved to myself that I could group 75,000 words together to tell a story. I may hate the novel, but after it was done I managed to figure out my next biggest issue as a writer. I read and re-read every single word over and over again cringing the entire time. Often with lots of alcohol to help me get through it. It was painful to discover I had other issues now that I'd made writer's block my bitch. I was able to triage my weaknesses and learned what my strengths were as a writer. Being able to do that honestly and truly as a writer was humbling, yet very freeing.

Turns out that although I wrote for my enjoyment my target audience at that time was my biggest supporter of my writing, my aunt. She’s married to a minister and related to me through blood. This woman who I love and adore changed my diapers and has known me all my life. In the back of my head I was writing stories to please her. Turns out, my fantasies, the things I really enjoyed reading (and writing) were not for her eyes. I know where I intended my first novel to go. My aunt wanted to read it and I’d agreed to send it to her chapter by chapter as I wrote it. I so did not write the novel I meant to write. I only realized this hard truth as I finished writing my first novel.

I dropped my wonderful aunt as a beta reader. Considering she was the only beta reader I had at the time it was pretty easy to do. My next couple of beta readers were virtual female friends but eventually I landed on the right ones for me, dirty old men. At that point, I had a target audience that fit with the kind of writing I wanted to do and this little porn writer was born. So, I write down the boners, or orgasms, sometimes both, occasionally neither. I write until I finish the story and then the hard, difficult work starts. Rewrites and editing...

Creative Editing: It’s Not Lying If You Phrase It Right

Okay, since this is the month before NaNo I figure I’ll talk about my writing process for the month of October. What’s NaNo you ask? The full abbreviation is NaNoWriMo though most people just call it NaNo which stands for National Novel Writing Month. There’s an entire website dedicated to this long standing November practice of attempting to write an entire novel during the month. You can sign up or download the app and you’re all set.

Plenty of first novels have been written during the month of November because of the website. From the novice to veteran authors, for example James Patterson is a huge fan of the site, it’s a place to get feedback and share. It’s awesome. Most writers I know are aware and have their own NaNo stories to tell, though most are creatively edited.

I spend a great deal of time creatively editing the details of my life. I’ve been doing this for years. It’s a practice I started about the time I started writing at seven years old. If you write fiction you’re given liberty to creatively edit. You’re a liar. You’re getting paid to lie, you do it and call it fiction. Woo Hoo!

I ask a lot of ‘what if’ questions, and based on my history I create a scenario, an outcome for the character. Action and reaction, over and over until I finish the story. It’s easier to write what I know, so typically as the writer, the creator the character has my reaction or a creatively edited (what I wish I would have said or done in the same situation). I find a great deal of inspiration in getting to say the thing I wished I’d said, but didn’t in a particular situation. So long time creative editor. By the time I’m retelling the story, I said that line, that I failed to say. It left my lips at the perfect moment and did its job. Then I go on to remember it the new way.

At one point I felt bad about doing a creative edit. My mother instilled that fear of lying to her early on and the disappoint on her face when I was caught in my first lie left a life long impression. I carried a great deal of guilt over it other than when I put pen to paper, that I couldn't forgive and until I started calling it 'creative editing' or 'fiction' and a friend laid the Edie Brickell lyrics on me, “I swear I remember it that way, (too)," I would have continued to feel that guilt.

I have a friend who does it all the time not only that, he does it right in front of me. From his lips, the most mundane activity is hilarious. We laugh, although at first I tried to correct the details, until his version was too funny to bother. Example, we were riding in Dante 2, my truck, somewhere and a bug flew in the window. It landed on my sandal covered foot. The bug crawled up my leg, so I pulled the truck over, hopped out and shook it off my leg. That’s the true story as I remember it.

In his version, I was speeding down the highway when all of a sudden my driving became erratic. I screamed as he grabbed the ‘oh shit’ handle. I almost crashed us into the car in the next lane. I crossed three lanes of traffic, creating a pile up in my wake the entire time screaming and hollering incoherently. I pulled into the nearest parking lot, dashed out the driver’s side door, waving my arms like a lunatic. Tears streamed down my face as I finally returned to the vehicle calm and collected. I stated, “There was an enormous bug on my foot,” while holding my hands a foot apart. In his version, he saw a ladybug, that was it.

Okay, other than the fact that his version casts me in a bad light, I had to admit, yup his version, so much funnier than mine. Today, which version do I usually tell? His of course, edited without the carnage of creating a pile up.

Carnage is great for fiction, as I mentioned in the last post, “kill your darlings.” The phrase has two meanings to me. First kill the stuff you’re so in love with in your writing for the betterment of the scene, story but also, killing characters is acceptable too. Supporting cast and sometimes even main characters can die. It's allowed, really, truly I swear. Some writers overdo the killing, example, ‘Game of Thrones’. The point is with fiction, creative editing go for the extreme. It’s not reality so carnage is allowed. The creative edit is usually funnier even if everyone involved knows that's not what happened, instead of a mundane event you'll find a wonderful story to tell.

To Detail Or Not To Get That Specific, Duh!

I’ve been in the copy edit stage for a while now with my debut novel, Forced To Change. This is a good thing. No, really it is. It means that when the novel is published it will be polished. Each and every word as I intended or agreed to so that the story I meant to tell is the one that you read. I really needed an editor. This way I’ve had five so far. Five different people, it’s a team of editors. Woo Hoo! Five different sets of eyes going over my story. It was an unexpected advantage, unexpected because once again, I'm not always the brightest bulb in the room and I didn't realize how much I needed a professional editor. Not even beta readers could catch all the little hidden mistakes that I can’t see any more purely because I wrote it.

So this becomes another example of where I have to practice patience daily. I’m cool with it. Really, I am. Okay, it was a lot ego-bruising at first. Then someone reminded me I have no history with my publishers. They have a list of amazing, established authors that they’ve worked with for years. People that brought much larger platforms to the table. I just started my writing career a few years ago. I haven’t built up the audience yet. I had no idea what the business side of writing entailed.

I’m getting a quick education and a part of that is, editing takes a lot of time and a lot hard work. Not just me, but from a team of individuals on my publisher’s side. People who are hoping this book turns a profit and does amazing when it’s available just like I have the same dream. Only no one gets paid should my book fail epic-ally. Then all their time, money, and energy is out the window, while I sit around being disappointed, but not defeated by it. Why? Well, it’s my first novel. As much as I love the story I wrote and told, the realist in me knows that usually the debut novel doesn’t do much market wise.

The debut novel establishes an author’s credit. The way the scenario for most typically plays out, it’s the success of the second, or the third novel that elevates the first novel. Or, it takes years and years for the first novel to gain a following. As much as having a best seller out the gate would validate my career choice of writing professionally, I’ve got a deadline in mind as to when I’ll have to sacrifice my time and energy to a dreaded, stupid day job for the benefit of my needs and survival. I'll tuck my dream away for a bit and try again in a few months or years when I’m in a position to pursue it again.

Okay, so that was completely off topic. Details. Um, about that. In writing I mean. Well, sometimes they are necessary. No matter what your process as a writer is, your story is better when you get the details out of your head and down onto the page. I’m a ‘seat of my pants’ writer, though I used to be an ‘edit as I go’ writer. A while back I decided I’d attempt to ‘outline strictly’ or ‘organize, but loosely’ my next work. I read a piece where that was apparent in the work and I could only see the benefit of working that way. This means that before I put word one down of the next novel I should at least have a brainstorm, an outline, maybe even a scene list done before I sat down to write. I did and am currently working on the follow up to FTC. Woo Hoo!

The advantage of working on a novel this way is it cuts down on writer’s block. When I sit down to write I have a direction every single day to go in until the story is finished, rather than my usual word count for today game plan. No matter which way you write though, when you’re capturing a scene down on the page there comes a point where you want to share. Maybe it’s the setting, or a description of the character or how the weather is at that moment or what song is playing on the good old iPod for the character. How much is too much? When does detailing go from moving the story forward to bogging it down with information that the reader won’t want to read and possibly they stop reading the book?

That’s the trick to detailing, finding the balancing act of giving enough information to keep the reader interested. Painting a vivid picture but not so much detail that the reader skims until it changes or something happens, if you’re lucky. Remember they always have the option to stop reading, period.

This is why the editing process is taking a great deal of time with FTC. For my 3 long time loyal followers (welcome to the party 3 new ladies), you guys know how much I like to detail. I also slip specifics in that don’t seem important at the time, but later come back around. Although Stephen King recommends ‘kill your darlings’ he can say that. He’s established as an author and has a working history with his editor. So, sometimes a three page description of person will end up in his work and as a reader I accept this and most of the time enjoy it anyway.

Since I’m no Stephen King, I accept that my editors pull some of the stuff I feel is necessary to the telling of this story. In other words, they murder my darlings for me. When I have a chance to let the edit marinate, I see their point. Sigh. In the end I usually defer to their wisdom and most of the time the sentence/paragraph/scene reads much better for the correction. 

I think I’m pretty good about cutting my own darlings. For example the original draft of Forced To Change the first paragraph was this whole thing about spilling food on her breast and making choices. At the end the main character walked out of the house not caring that she had a bright spot of yellow on her white shirt.

I thought the paragraph did this great job of establishing the character’s state of mind. It captured her depression, low self-esteem, etc. It was the setup of all setups for who this girl was. By the time I was done with the second draft or third draft it was gone. A darling no more. 

I loved the paragraph, but I didn’t feel it was good for the story as a whole. I covered her state of mind later and I do a more relatable job of it as the reader moves forward in the novel. All the things that one paragraph did are spread out over the first chapter. It was my darling and to keep it weighed down the story.

My recommendation when writing, when choosing whether to detail or not to detail, DETAIL. Break every rule of writing you can while writing your first draft. The first draft is for all the mistakes. Write prose and not enough if necessary, because the goal is to write. With NaNo coming around next month a lot of people will attempt to write their very first novel. Sticking to the rules of writing can and does create writer’s block and the goal is to get that first novel under your belt, right? So write. Detail until anyone reading the scene can see, taste, hear, feel, and smell the entire thing the way you mean it. It’s much easier to amputate your darling.