First things first. A little warning before
practicing flirting. Know yourself and to
your own self be true. My opinion is purely made up of a lot of observation
of myself and others and my drawing conclusions. As I’m not always the lit wick
in a room full of burning candles, I could be wrong.
If you are a single person (or in an open
relationship) and shopping for someone to add to your bed, the first step
before flirting is to figure out if your sign reads ‘available’ or ‘victim’.
The difference will determine what kind of relationship you find yourself in,
should you be using flirting with a relationship with the new person as a goal
in your mind.
Personally, I use flirting to put new men (M/M or M/F
couples) on my sexual playlist as I don’t do relationships currently. I’m
‘single and loving it’ by choice. So if you’re only playlist partner shopping,
by all means go read the 3 tips below.
Available sign - I’m a mentally and
physically (and spiritually) healthy individual looking for someone to enter
into a relationship, possibly long term (LT). Or a one-night stand, or
temporary. (sign’s necessity applies to LT relationship seekers.)
Victim sign - I think I’m putting out
an ‘Available’ sign, but I have a lot of self-image/self-worth issues I need to
work on. I’m desperate not to be single and lonely anymore. (This sign should NOT
be up if you’re looking for a LT relationship. Short term/knock off an illusion
of intimacy need/one-night stands this sign is okay to fly).
Desperation is the world’s worse cologne, which
means most likely you will NOT attract a ‘good for you’ person while your
‘Victim’ sign is up. You get hit on a lot when your ‘Victim’ sign is on. You’ll
find that person (people sniffing around) charming and attractive. You’ll feel
swept off your feet and sure you’ve found the one.
The only problem is the people attracted to ‘Victim’ signs are
predatory. They see the sign as if hearing a siren’s song and will immediately
manipulate you and take advantage of your mindset. Every relationship I’ve seen
started while the person had their ‘Victim’ sign flashing instead of an
‘Available’ sign was a dysfunctional, unhealthy and often abusive relationship.
As you may have guessed, this was the
self-defeating behavior I had to eliminate from my life when applying it to romance/relationships
and me. I chose to stop getting into relationships altogether. I came up with
my sexual playlist partner rules and this works for me and my lifestyle. So, yeah, back in college I learned to flirt. Only as you
may have guessed from the above a lot of the time my ‘Victim’ sign was waving
and I kept finding myself in abusive, dysfunctional relationships.
Okay, warning over and now onto the good stuff.
The three tips on flirting as promised:
Number
3 Tip: Display The Twins! Sorry my loyal 3 male
followers, I don’t know what the boobies equivalent for a male is, however, I’m
a backside, junk in the truck kinda gal. Trust me, if we’ve met I checked out
your ass and you never caught me doing it.
Ladies, these sweater puppies, no matter their
size are the feature most people sexually attracted to you will check out
first. Most heterosexual guys don’t even make eye contact for looking at your
jugs. So push-up bra and cleavage showing top away whether you have large or
small ones. Doesn’t matter, cuz your breasts always enter a room first if
you’re walking forward.
Number
2 Tip: Best Feature Flaunting! If you don’t know
what your best feature is, figure it out with a quickness and then just like
the girls, bring attention to it (usually something you’ve been complimented on
a lot). Mine are my lips/mouth so I apply a lot of chapstick when man shopping.
Or I lick my lips which has the added bonus of bringing attention to my #1
attractor to my mouth, my tongue piercing.
If I like the looks of someone I subtly and
sometimes unconsciously now, reveal the piercing, as if I can’t think without
having it peek out from between my lips briefly. I learned my mouth was my 2nd
best feature (chest melons 1st) when I heard CSL’s (cock sucking lips) as the
most common description for my lips. They are full, soft, and often wet from
licking, so I guess it applies.
Number
1 Tip: Compliment The Person! Duh! If you find
someone attractive and you’re brave enough to do so, tell them. It’s so damn
simple but so many people don’t do this when flirting and uh, quite stupid
really. You won’t know, if you don’t try. As my mom used to say, “You will
survive any failure in your life except skydiving!” You’ll get over the
rejection, trust.
I only recently discovered this one myself, which
is why, I’m like, idiot, idiot for not thinking of it sooner. I recently started
going to a gym because I want to wear a dress one size down for my book signing for Forced to Change. Well I decided to hit the gym on the
regular because sooooooooooo much yummy eye candy to be seen there.
Someone on Facebook suggested I sneak a camera in
so they, too, could see all the eye candy I was scoping. Arriving at the gym
the next day, I whipped out my phone and mentioned I wanted pictures of the eye
candy I’d seen to the staff. The first guy to hear what I was up to, went into
the back and changed shirts so he could having his abs and guns captured.
I quickly had several pics in my phone while
saying, I’m looking for pics of ‘eye candy’ and until I ran into a brother so
fine I couldn’t admit it (I creatively edited what I was doing and told him I
was working on a ‘project’) I was having so much fun, I actually missed the
fact that this was a compliment to the person whose picture I took. I’m not the
sharpest knife in the drawer, yes, I know.
I’d gotten several pictures and proof of such
visual goodness for the person who asked, so I did my little workout, returned
home and posted the pictures to FB. The very next day I learned that while eye
candy picture taking, if I had admitted what I was doing to the fine ass man
from the gym, I might have gotten his digits. So yeah, if you like the looks of
someone, you find that person attractive, TELL THEM. You never know what might
happen.
Eeexcellent tips.
ReplyDeleteDo you know what's funny - after I posted the thing about bringing a camera at your gym, I almost deleted it! I was afraid it would come off as stalkerish, so when you not only showed up at the gym with your camera but KILLLED it and turned it into such a fun exercise in flirtation, I was so glad I resisted the impulse to delete. :)
(to avoid confusion - this is Bevery Nickelson. Nicki is my penname)
Yes, thank you so much for suggesting it. If you knew me better you'd know I love a challenge and I do not embarrass easily. So yes, mention something that sounds fun to me and I'll run with it. For example a really good friend had a similar reaction to a conversation on wouldn't it be fun to chase men in kilts around DragonCon with a leaf blower? Years later, it's a permanent feature of the convention and Laurell K. Hamilton lends her staff to help secure the event.
ReplyDeletehttp://kiltblowing.thedevilspanties.com/
So you never know what can happen with a single silly idea. I don't question, I just do...
I hope your book signing was today and if I wouldn't have been moving the last week, I would have liked to been there.....
ReplyDeleteHi nice reeading your blog
ReplyDelete