Jesus, That’s Good Porn, Too!

The word of last week's post was porn. I dropped it like a clumsy server 8 times including the title. So this week’s post? My thoughts on the word porn (I’m going for a solid 10 uses at least).


I suppose I could use the word smut or erotica to describe what I write. There are a lot of words that dance around the subject matter of porn and treat it like a taboo, illicit word. It's naughty, bad, I should be spanked for using it. Yes please, and thank you. I mean I get it, throw a word like ‘child’ in front of it and it takes on a whole new meaning. It becomes wrong and illegal, which is so not my goal.

When I meet random strangers who I’m pretty sure I’ll never see again, I say it like I’m Oprah Winfrey, proud of what I do, because I am.

Me on a visit to HodgePodge: Hey, you should try the Bless Your Heart. Such yummy vanilla goodness.

Mustache guy (MG) in line ahead of me who wonders why I struck up a conversation with him: Er, uh, thanks. I'm just here for the meatpies.

Me: Oh yeah, those are excellent too. I'm Simone Lisbon, nice to meet you. (I offer my hand to be shook)

MG: Hi, Simone, my name is (I'll forget it unless he's a hottie). Nice to meet you too. What do you do for a living, Simone? (he stares at my hand like it has cooties before finally shaking it)


Me: I write porn! (I smile bright and let the statement hang in the air like a three day old party balloon and wait patiently for a response.)


Usually, the phrase is met with a nervous giggle, or ‘hey, you kind of made me uncomfortable with that and I don’t know why’ face. On some levels it’s part marketing ploy, part social experiment, part makes me giggle. What I know is, whatever their reaction, they’re going to remember me and probably look me up when they get home. Or they'll run screaming from the coffee shop warning everyone they see that there’s a crazy lady talking about porn in public. How crass of me. Whatever, the former is my hope though.


As I said over and over again in my last post, I do write porn. I write to arouse the reader. But I’m sure you have a definition in mind when you hear the word porn. Most people immediately jump to the negative connotations and don’t know or don’t care about its actual meaning.


So, let me break it down for you. According to Merriam-Webster’s Online dictionary it means pornography. Well that takes care of that, blog post over. I’m finished. Yup, I’m sure that cleared things up for you. Wait, I still haven’t hit 10 uses yet. Grrrr, fine. After a click on ‘pornography’ I discovered M-W defines it as:


1 : the depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement
2: material (as books or a photograph) that depicts erotic behavior and is intended to cause sexual excitement
3: the depiction of acts in a sensational manner so as to arouse a quick intense emotional reaction <the pornography of violence>

Are we seeing a theme here? I firmly believe the main goal with writing is to solicit an emotional response from the reader. Seems to me I nailed it! If you’re a porn writer, then you want the response to be sexual. As my uncle suggested I could and do relabel myself occasionally. I could call myself a smut peddler, a suspense romance writer and eventually I will have to switch my wording of what I am just because defining my work as porn blocks it from being seen on various search engines.

What do you mean I have to be visible on various search engines, so that I can direct people to my website easily? What if I don’t wanna be found? Oh, wait, I need people to find me so they can purchase my book. Fine, I guess I’ll stop calling myself a writer of porn. Oh wait, you may have noticed, I already label myself differently online.
Sigh, I guess I have to stick to the tagline of ‘Starving writer of exotic, I mean, erotic fiction’ online. Shoot me, I love a good pun. The first time I attempted to write what I was going to use online I made that typo while trying to type ‘erotic’ of typing ‘exotic’ instead. It was an inside joke only I found funny, that is, until I just explained it to you.
Woo hoo! 11 uses of the word porn, well 12 now. Here watch some Avenue Q to get that count way up there.


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